The Online Dating Guru writes:
Online dating sites have become very popular – and with good reason. Instead of spending countless hours hanging out at singles bars, going to social activities or singles events, you just log on to your computer and find hundreds of other single adults just looking for someone to date. It gives you the opportunity to start a conversation, then get to know someone, without ever leaving the house.
But, participating in internet dating means you first need to create a profile. Often, this can be the most difficult part of online dating. You have to achieve an equal balance of telling others who you are and what you’re looking for in a partner while at the same time making sure that what you write will appeal to others. Unless you’re a skilled writer, this can be an extremely challenging task.
The biggest mistake most people make is writing their profile when they’re in the wrong frame of mind. Just about everyone finds it difficult to write positive things about ourselves even when we’re having a really good day, but trying to do it when you’re feeling anxious, hopeless or depressed makes it nearly impossible. Unfortunately, that’s when we’re most likely to turn to online dating – after a breakup, divorce or when we’re just plain tired of being alone.
Start writing your profile offline using word processing software or Wordpad. The blank screen of the dating site is more intimidating and often results in typing a few quick sentences, then pressing the “submit” button. The best time is when you’re in a good mood and looking your best.
{Focus on just two or three positive traits that describe your personality rather than trying to provide a laundry list of all the reasons someone might want to date you.Instead of writing a long list of adjectives, try focusing on just one or two positive attributes.} For example, are you fun-loving or are solitary evenings at home more your style? Are you artsy and creative or do your friends think of you as serious and practical? Do you like to surround yourself with family and friends or are you happier spending quiet evenings alone with someone special? Remember that your goal isn’t to write a book that tells others everything about you, but you want to say enough to get someone interested in contacting you. You also want to eliminate those whose personalities would be a horrible fit for you. Otherwise, you can spend a lot of time writing a few emails back and forth and never meet anyone you really like.
Be sure to also spend a few minutes explaining what you’re looking for in a partner. Don’t worry about offending others – those who are wouldn’t be a good fit for you anyway. Be specific about what you’re looking for in a partner. Of course, this step requires that you actually do know what you’re looking for. Instead of describing the person’s physical characteristics and appearance, focus on the personality traits that appeal to you. If you’re shy, for example, are you looking for someone more outgoing who will help you come out of your shell or would you be happier with someone who is equally quiet and reserved? Are you looking for someone who will interact well with your children, your pets or your friends? Describe the attributes that will make that possible. If there’s an activity you’re passionate about, be sure to indicate that you’re looking for someone who shares that passion.
Your profile doesn’t have to be long, but it shouldn’t be too short, either. A single short paragraph isn’t going to generate interest or provide something to talk about, but attempting to write a book isn’t necessary. Most people will read no more than three to four paragraphs.
Most importantly, be sure you let your personality show in your profile. Be yourself and you’ll be far more likely to attract someone who will accept you for who you are.
———————-
Post your profile on Over35Match.com
Over35Match.com – online dating and social networking for single adults over 35.
